Today, we can observe the increasing number of female college students who already have children. These women do not blame someone or demand special attention from tutors, they just need their chance for getting education and better life. We are lucky because one of such student-mothers Julia agreed to give us interview and tell about her own tips on how to cope with such grueling schedule.
Julia, Please, Describe Your Life Situation in a Couple of Words
So, where to start. I am 22 years old. Currently, I am a student of Western Kentucky University, where I am getting my bachelor degree. My daughter Kristine is two years old; her father left us right after her birth. Now, I share the apartment with my best friend, Monica, that helps me a lot.
Describe a Little Bit Your Schedule
Usually, every morning begins by planning what Kristine will eat, then I go on lectures leaving daughter with Monica (she is a freelancer, that is why she can spend time with Kristine). After lectures, I go home where I do laundry, cook dinner, and clean. Most of my free time I spend with daughter as far as she is very active and needs to interact with someone almost every minute. After 10 p.m. I have my private time; it means I do my homework (at least something) and then work remotely as a content writer until 2.30 a.m.
Sounds Like You Do Not Have a Chance to Breathe. Please, Describe, the Most Difficult Obstacles on Your Way for These Two Years
During the first year, I was on the edge of exclusion from university. I did not know how to live, I was broken-hearted young girl with little baby. My schedule was a mess. I hardly managed to care about Kristine, not telling about my homework. At that moment, I even resorted to the help of a special writing resource, something like Orderessay.org that assisted me unspeakably well and very fast (that is the most important in “my case!”).
You know, there were just cases, when I really tried to write a kind of essay at 4 a.m. but understood that my mind was not able to work anymore. Yet, already at 6.15-6.30 a.m., I could get from this service a completed task, in case it is 3 or 4 pages long.
However, maybe, the most tough thing was that I overslept my alarm clocks just being unable to get up. Only what could wake me up was the crying of my Kristine.
Lack of Understanding
Many people, family members or “friends,” have just vanished from my life. Some of my relatives did not get how I could get pregnant and left the baby. After I announced my final decision, they told me that I betrayed them. Some of friends, on contrary, told no word. They just stopped calling me, even to show an interest regarding my life situation. The only one who agreed to help me was Monica, who had at that moment apartment and looked for someone to pay for it together.
How Have You Coped with All These Issues and Balanced Childcare and Education? Give Some Pieces of Advice.
To be student-mother is exactly that variant where you should apply all you time management skills in. The main idea is to understand that every point in your checklist is significant and you cannot skip it just because you want to sleep. That is how it worked with me, pure realization that another chance could not be. That is why I sleep overall five hours per day.
If something gets wrong or not how it was planned initially, do not be nervous, panic, or sink into a depression. If a professor does not want to give you one more chance, so let it be. You are not special one or privileged because of a baby. There are many life obstacles that are even harder. Remember it and be thankful that the other tutors look with indulgence at your attendance rate. Moreover, always, be ready to change all your day plans in a minute.
Be realistic and come to terms with the fact that in the time your friends get fun or conquer the tops, you must juggle being a single mother and a student at the same time.
Be honest with all your professors and do not manipulate referring to your life situation. Always e-mail to your tutors when you have to miss the class. Ask for extension, when you missed the submission of an assignment. Be thankful, if some of the professors try to help you.
Factor of Support
Whole current situation could not be possible without a strong support system. Sometimes, it can be the members of your family (do not afraid to ask), or, as in my case, my best friend. From time to time, I wanted to give up and quit everything, however, then I understood that I did it not for me but for my daughter because she did not deserve to suffer because of a spineless mother. Moreover, Monica does not let me forget that the difficulties will always be there throughout life. We do not choose them, but we can deal with them.
Thank you, Julia, for the interview and good luck!