Man can come out of a relationship because of different reasons: not to get along with a partner, betrayal, or cheating. However, to my mind, the most painful case is when you have to come out due to external circumstances.
Now something similar is happening with one friend of mine, Shelby. Her boyfriend, with whom she is together for around one year, won a scholarship in one of the foreign universities in Europe. On the one hand, Shelby is very happy for him as far as it can dramatically enhance his professional prospects, on the other hand, she is suffering a lot from this situation. Officially, they are together, communicate via Skype, and say every time how much they miss each other.
Of course, their interaction can continue in such format for a long time and even have a happy ending. However, how often did you heard about happy ends in such cases? Frankly speaking, more often, people just interact per social networks and, in the course of time, the romantic relationship fades away. In that regard, we decided to investigate different formats of the long distance relationship while the one is studying abroad and how to overcome consequential problems. Should you need an original piece of writing on this – here we are.
General Problems to Face
Desire to Date Someone Else
This is a horrible feeling, to tell the truth. After your partner has already gone abroad, you can begin to discover the unusual freedom of actions. More and more often, you can find yourself flirting with the opposite sex or going out with someone new. At the same time, you realize that you are already in the relationship. If your partner did not discuss these “situations” with you, it can result in dishonesty. That is why it is better to inform your official partner at once that you met someone and have a desire to date him/her.
Some people are not within their power to overcome the leave. It saps their souls making them cry all the time, spamming with the sad and pathetic posts in social networks. I would advise to look around, find an unusual hobby, be always surrounded with other people, and write down a list of advantages in this situation.
Lack of Mutual Pastime
It is a common fact that the couple should have mutual interests and in general concern itself with the everyday life of each other. It somehow deepens the bond. However, to be the irreplaceable part of someone ‘s life becomes harder when you are not together, at least in one city. You are no more in power to know something just because you are close. You can know only the part of information that is told to you.
And here, I think, the main condition is not to try to control your partner calling every minute or at night asking where he/she is and why you noticed him/her online at 3 a.m. It can have only a detrimental effect. It is better to set very cautious questions and express your concern saying something like “Tell me more about your new friends?” or “Tell me more about that club. Sounds like we could go there next time I come.”
Different Forms of Long Distance Relationships
#1: Chatting Every Minute
Under this type of relationship, a couple is chatting to each other about everything in their lives literally every minute. Usually, this is the first stage of a long distance relationship. People enormously miss each other and are in the state of a strange excitement. Both think that if they do not write at least one word or send a silly smile, then their relationship will crumble to dust.
However, this is totally wrong behavior as far as trying to create the illusion of being “overinterested” in each other’s lives can lead both to the moment when you really do not know what to say or write to your partner. It is due to the reason that it was unnatural under common circumstances. It can work if one of the partners sends a funny picture once in a week, calls three times in a week, and herewith stays satisfied with such state of the relationship.
#2: Silence Is Gold
Another variant of the relationship’s development is a total contrast to the previous variant. A couple breaks communication right after the plane took off. Firstly, they do not call each other just to avoid the first format of relations, but then they begin to feel good without the communication with the partner at all. Such type is also similar somehow to “free relationship” because the partners do not burden themselves to inform each other about mundane affairs and other everyday little things. They either do not care with whom their beloved hangs out with.
It resembles me a kind of a holiday where both partners rest from each other. Presumably, this variant is possible when the couple has been together already for a long time, they trust each other, but to live separately without a word to the address of the partner is a good way to refresh the feelings.
#3: Visiting Each Other
It is a balanced kind of the long distance relationship. Under such a scenario, if the finances allow, the couple has the perfect chance to see each other even every month or two times per month. They can communicate with each other, know what is going on in the lives of each other, or keep silence and live with the dream to see the partner in the next month.
To tell the truth, I regard this variant the best one. The partners have the possibility to see each other, to feel, and to touch each other over the equal time periods. And what is interesting, all these trivial actions in long lasting relations acquire a new meaning and call the new emotions.
#4: Be Together… but Not Really
This is the worst variant that could only be imagined. People continue to communicate, send the heart images and smiles, and write the words full of love, but in reality, they can date another person, and live a completely new life where there is no place for the partner abroad. The main reason for the creation of such illusion is the fear to confess that you are not ready for long distance relationship. In the long run, the couple finds themselves in the insincerity full of artificial smiles.
#5: Broken up at All!
Although it sounds bitter, sometimes, it is better to tell the truth to each other and break up at the very beginning if you do not feel the courage to maintain a long distance relationship. Furthermore, life is long and unpredictable. Who knows, maybe, in three or five years, you will see each other and realize that why not to give this relationship one more chance. That separately spent time can be a good opportunity for everyone to find his- or herself in this world, date other people, and understand the type of person ideal personally for them.
#6: Moving Abroad!
Yes, it can look crazy enough to make good. However, if you are afraid of living in different countries, then turn your partner’s studying abroad into your own chance to change the life and place of residence. Of course, it is easier said than done. However, if you are full of energy and enthusiasm, why just not to try and move? There are many opportunities for those who search. For example, who stops you from the applying for an educational program either, and coming to this country in three or four months. Or you can just find a job abroad. When there is a will there is a way. Read more here.